ABC News Article on Scrupulosity, a Form of OCD

I'm just going to post it here and let it you, the reader, make your own decision.

Please be aware that Scrupulosity manifests in difference ways in different people. If you want to find posts about my own problems with scrupulosity, look in my earliest posts.

I have too much of a headache to say anything else right now.

Also note that I have nothing against prayer or belief in God. I have faith myself, but I think there is a point at which the rituals and beliefs can become pathological and turn into compulsions and obsessions.

This Blog

I have been struggling with being honest with myself and with my faith, and I have finally been honest with myself on the making of this blog. I feel that this blog is a waste of Internet space. It concerns my own thoughts and revelations that may only apply to me, and may be irrelevant to anyone else. I also think that this blog is rather ego-centered rather than Christ-centered. I think I started out trying to be a teacher or to have some huge impact on people before I really knew what I was doing. I'm not giving up my faith, but I am considering closing this blog down for good. I have so much going on at school and other things I want to do, and the "fight" against Fundamentalism seems fruitless. Those who don't like Fundamentalism can see what's wrong with it, and those who are entangled in it are not going to suddenly come out of it upon coming across a website. The way I got out of Fundamentalism because people on a casual, personal basis were directly challenging my thoughts. I also think that this blog gives me an excuse to shy away from talking directly people when I should.

I think the only thing left to do is to pray and talk to people who want answers. If people don't want to hear of it or only want to condemn, then there is nothing left to do but pray and leave it to God.

I am going to keep this blog up for the time being until I am moved to do something else with it, whether it be closing it down or turning it into something useful.

God's Gifts in the Age of Science

Happy New Year!

I was reading Holly's story about the "Heathen Hippy Child" on her blog and was edified in thinking about spiritual things. I was thinking about how God prepares gifts for us to be recieved at just the right times when we need them, and I looked at my desktop wallpaper. On my desktop, I have a Hubble image of thousands of tiny galaxies. I was gazing at this picture and thinking about Creation, and I thought about all the neat nebulae, star clusters, galaxies, and other beautiful features out there. Then, I thought about how these objects were out there (probably now in different forms--they say the light from these far-off space objects take billions of years to hit Earth) waiting to be discovered by sentient beings. I think that God created these gifts for us (and possibly other sentient beings) for us to discover and remember that for all of our technology, God is still there.

For Holly's Story:
Part I
Part II

Happy Holidays

I just realized that I did not post a "Happy Holidays" articles.

I hope everyone had and still has a happy Holiday season, whatever you like to celebrate. New Year's is still on the way!

Spiritual Abuse Resources

If anything I write here is inaccurate, let me know.

Spiritual abuse is psychological trauma (which may include physical abuse) caused by the involvement in a religious group, cult, or with a so-called spiritual "teacher." This is a rather loose definition that was deduced from reading several websites on the matter. Many leaders of religious and spiritual groups manipulate and/or terrorize their flocks into following them for their own purposes, but the leaders in question may be duped by the system itself, believing that they are doing "the Lord's work" or "bringing spiritual evolution." It is used to describe abuse coming from fundamentalist Christian groups, such as those who adhere to Hellfire Fundamentalism (radical sect of Christians whose focus is on the doctrine of eternal torment, which may be coupled with focus on the End Times). The United Pentacostal Church has also been accused of harboring spiritual abuse. However, spiritual abuse can come from any radical form of any faith. Spiritual abuse may cause someone to question their relationship with God or even the existence of God. Many people are so badly abused that symbols associated with the abusive group may "trigger" bad memories or feelings. Here is a Wikipedia article on spiritual abuse. Even if you don't trust Wikipedia as a source, there are links to resources for spiritual abuse at the bottom of that page.

Resources (the views on these pages do not necessarily refelct my own views):
Church Abuse.com
Spiritual Abuse Recovery Resources
Spiritual Abuse: With a Secondary Focus on the United Pentacostal Church
SOSA: Survivors of Spiritual Abuse
Ex Church of Christ Support Group
Article on Spiritual Abuse by The Watchmen Expositor
The Awareness Center: Jewish Survivors of Spiritual Abuse (Sexual Abuse and Sexual Assualt)
Spiritual Abuse - An Unsafe Safe Place (Spring 2005)
Safe in Church

Update

I started this blog two years ago. Since then, my OCD was partially alleviated. I’m not completely cured as I still have to take medications and use mental tools to control the obsessions and compulsions, but I am much better. I don’t have overt compulsions as they usually involve some sort of prayer. My obsessions were and still are to an extent related to the fear of losing my salvation, but I am not wrought with the fear I had two years ago. It only spikes during stressful times and/or when I have little social support.

I still call myself a Christian as I still have the core beliefs (Jesus is the son of God and shed His blood for the sins of the world). I sometimes have trouble saying that I am a Christian because people tend to pidgeonhole me into the same category as Christians one sees in mainstream society. I don’t believe that unbelievers go to eternal hellfire, though. I have been studying the idea that everyone will eventually be saved after being purified/corrected (so no one really gets away with anything, and the process of correction isn’t a picnic to say the least). However, I still see the cessation of existence for the unsaved to be the most logical outcome for now; still, universal reconciliation is still inviting.

You may have seen some references to esoteric, “New Agey” and Eastern spirituality stuff on this blog, and I understand if this confuses some people. When I was referring to these things, I was taking a class called “Consciousness and Spirituality” at University. As I studied the material, the perspectives I learned helped me to personally understand passages in the Bible better. Since I was learning about spiritual matters outside the context of fear and threat of punishment, they were easier to mentally digest. Since taking that class, I think I have a better personal understanding of some of the passages from the Bible and from what [I hope] God tells me. As for the stuff about self-remembrance, I think self-examination is fine for seeing what needs to be changed. If you have ever tried it, it’s not a blissful experience. Sometimes it’s boring, and at other times, it can be frightening—at least that is how I experienced it.

In other news, I watched a special on CNN last night called “God’s Warriors.” They featured a pastor named Greg Boyd. From the interview, he seemed like an interested pastor. He does not believe in forcing the beliefs of Christianity on the rest of the nation. Here is his website. I have not read everything on that site, so be careful to make your own decision about what he says. I know from experience that it is easier to simply listen to someone else as opposed to actually thinking about it. I’ve gotten into trouble for doing the former.

I hope everyone has a blessed holiday season and a happy new year.

"Orthodoxy and Gregory of Nyssa's Universalism " by James Edward Goetz

Mr. Goetz has written an interesting article on Universal Salvtion, putting his arguments into scriptural and historical contexts. After you read it, post it somewhere, refute it with your own work (but post your refutation there so he can see and answer them if he chooses), or whatever else you want to do with it. Just give the guy credit for it, alright? Alright. :)

thesearch4truth.net Blog (EDITED)

Chris (PragmaticChris) has decided that he is not going to renew the domain of the forums or his blog, so I'm removing the link.

In other news, I haven't been doing well either. I have schoolwork and other responsibilities, so talking about my own problems would take up too much time for me to type it all. I may go more in-depth later, but for now, all I want to say that it has something to do with my condition (OCD) and my sister possibly having temporal lobe epilepsy.

That is all.

Rituals

I was in Theories of Soceity class on Tuesday. We talked about Durkheimian theory and it helped me to articulate something that I am starting to realize.

Back when I started this blog, I had a negative view of rituals. Now, I don't think they are such a bad idea. If a ritual helps one to get into the mindset, that's fine. As long as the ritual does not become more important than the teachings of one's spiritual path, it's fine to me. I think the problem comes when the ritual becomes a burden and makes a person forget what's really important--love for God and love for others. Those two things pretty much cover it.

According to Durkheim, ritual is important in holding society together. This may be religious in nature of be of the civil kind. It helps to strengthen social bonds with others. How did I jump from the ritual in the context of a group to ritual in the context of the individual? Durkheim did a suicide study about one hundred years ago. He was not necessarily internested in the reasons individuals committed suicide, but in the rates of suicide in certian groups. He ascertained that Protestants had the highest rate of suicide while Catholics and Jews had the lowest. My professor claims that these rates are the same today. Durkheim reasoned that since Protestants are highly individualistic ("the priesthood of all", personal relationship with God, etc) and did not have many group rituals, there is less intergration into the group. There are fewer people to lean upon in times of hardship. This is Durkheim's view, mind you.

Since reading this, I have begun to think that group rituals (group prayers, etc...not necessarily the pageantry one sees in the Catholic church) are not a bad thing as long as the "leader" is not controlling of the individual's relationship with God. God himself is the deciding factor, and if a person feels that they need to take part some sort of communal activity, it's a good thing.

I hope this post was not too convoluted. Have a good weekend, all.

R.I.P. Madeleine L’Engle

:(

Madeleine L’Engle, who in writing more than 60 books, including childhood fables, religious meditations and science fiction, weaved emotional tapestries transcending genre and generation, died Thursday in Connecticut. She was 88.

This saddens me a little. I loved her books when I was a child with their religious allusions and morals of good overcoming evil with love.

If you're a parent looking for a good book for your child, pick up one of her books. If you're an adult with no children, pick up one of her books. They're sci-fi spiritual fables.

The Search for the Truth Message Board Needs Your Help!

This forum is open to everyone who wants to talk about anything. Spirituality, the paranormal, current events, politics, religion, science, or anything else a person desires. All that is required is an open mind and a thirst for the truth!

Sign up today! Registration is free.

Tentmaker Forum Back Up!

Check it out!

On Doing Your Own Spiritual Work

Remember what I wrote about doing your own spiritual work (i.e., reading stuff for yourself and listening to God yourself)? Well, I did not do that. I realized this about a week ago.

See, I grew too attached to someone who I considered a teacher and a savior. I read his messages and took them to heart. I even developed a stupid internet crush on the guy.

What I have finally realized is what worked for him was not working for me, and being so attached to him that I listened to him as opposed to listening to God retarded me in my spiritual development. I finally "came out" and admitted my crush to him on a public forum where I was justly given a verbal slap in the face by this person. I needed this to see my foolishness.

This has made me realize in spades that I need to listen to God directly and not follow after what someone else is doing, even if they one of the main people who helped me out of Hellfire Fundamentalism. I focused on the human when I should have focused on the God, Son, and Spirit coming through that person. I love you, my readers. (Though not in a romantic sense!) Take care.

God bless.

Beware the Scribes down AGAIN

I've received word from the webmaster that this website may be resurrected, so I'll keep the readers posted.

Also, the Tentmaker forums are being revamped. I'll post the link when it comes back up again.

Criticism of Christian Publicaitons

Time Changer is like many other Christian movies: retarded theology, cliches, and horrible writing. Wait, I was being redundant. Oh well.

Basically, a guy from the late-1800s goes into the future and sees the evils of modern-day society. Something Awful does a hilarious job of reviewing this piece of tripe.

Many people may find it odd that I mercilessly ridicule Christian movies in general. In many Christian circles, it's almost considered heresy to criticize anything to do with Christianity. It does not matter how idiotic, demeaning, and downright hateful a writer's interpretation is. If a person makes a parody of it or criticizes it, then that person is seen as "mocking God." I think Christianity would be taken more seriously if other Christians were not afraid of pointing out absurdity within their ranks.

Yes, there are things in the world that are wrong, but simply saying that "Jesus said it was wrong, and that's that" is a silly argument. It may work amongst a few Christians, but non-Christians will see right through this assertion right to a person's lack of logic, laziness, or both. People are converted through examples of Christ in other people (people having the faith in God to fill them with the Spirit--when they are filled with God, and the vessel acting accordingly (even though it is still all God)) and the beckoning of the Holy Spirit, not inane arguments and Bible-thumping. Wait, was I being redundant against just now? Forget it...

Beware the Scribes Offline Again

It appears that Beware the Scribes is off line again. Hopefully this is a temporary shutdown do to a move to a new server.

Of Harry Potter and Fundamentalism

Any psychologist (or critical thinker for that matter) will tell you that many interconnected and separate forces actually influence an individual to make a decision. Apparently, some people do not seem to understand this. Granted, I am not a fan of Harry Potter. I started to read the first book and became bored. I just saw The Order of the Phoenix on Thursday and thought it was a good children's movie. To me, the movie portrayed the power of love against hate in a fun, fantasy context.

Since the books came out, Fundamentalist Christians attacked the books and demanded that they be banned in schools. These Christians contend that the Harry Potter books drag children into the "dark world" of witchcraft. Yes, I am well aware of the warning against witchcraft in the Old Testament, but is this something about which Christians should be seriously worried? It is possible to allow a child to read a book hinting at wizardry and remind them that it is all imaginary. Before Harry Potter, Dungeons and Dragons was the scapegoat. Humans have a tendency to blame a growth in a social group on whatever made them take notice of that group, and religious leaders will attack anything that could possibly lead their personal flock astray.

I think that many (if not most) of the attacks on the Harry Potter books come from laziness. It's easy to attack a children's book as opposed to working on one's own spiritual life. I've been down that road, and I know that self-examination is harder than bashing every work of fiction I don't like.

Not a Catholic? Then You are Just a Partial Christian

Apparently. Why does Ratzinger do this when the world is going up in flames? So much for Romans 12:3-5:

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think [of himself] more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So we, [being] many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.

I believe that each denomination has its own virtues, and all denominations can learn a thing or two from other denominations. Do we really need the fighting in Ireland again?

Memorial Day

I would like to wish everyone in the 'States a safe Memorial Day weekend.

If you would like to help the men and women in the armed forces, visit these links:
America Supports You
USO
Welfare and Family (British Armed Forces support)

Being Aware of the Spirit

I just realized something last night. I was watching the end of an episode of Pastor Scott in which Gene Scott's wife was preaching about the Holy Spirit. She said that there is another being inside of a person who has the Spirit. I know this sounds like a "no duh" sort of thing, but hearing the words helped me to be more aware of the Spirit.

It's not important to simply be aware of yourself being present to yourself. I almost think that that part is not so important to me anymore. Being aware of yourself as a person with the Spirit lets you know there is someone else there in your being, but I think that actually being aware of the Holy Spirit as a whole other being inside of you is much more important.