Pet Love And Loss

On Sunday, I lost my oldest kitty, Samantha. She had to be put down due to kidney failure. She was the sweetest little kitty who would go up to almost anyone to be petted.

For all of you who have lost a non-human loved one, this site is a resource of gentle support from those who understand.

Personally, I believe that there is at least a small part of an animal's being that goes someplace after death (other than the ground/dumpster/crematorium/etc for you snarky folks). It's a comforting belief, anyway.

Perhaps when I am healed and more mature in my faith, I may not need to hold on to such a thing. For right now, though, this provides comfort to me.

When you lose a loved one, it is important to allow yourself to grieve in the best way you know how. The rest of society may be rude or not even care, but you need to start the healing process right after the hurt.

God bless, all. Rest in peace, Samantha.

Beware the Scribes Back Up!

Beware the Scribes is up and running again! Go check it out!

Also, allow me to pimp my deviantART page.

Andrea Yates Found Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity

Click here for the story.

Now that the verdict has been reached, I wonder if there will be any more investigation (legal, journalistic (Is that even a word?), or otherwise) into how the nature of the Fundamentalist Christian beliefs imposed on Yates affected her.

I do not believe that her mental illness excuses what she did. Murdering children is wrong.

I think this situation is another example of the horrible effect that Fundamentalism has on people. My own bout with Christian Fundamentalism nearly drove me to suicide. As a friend of mine once said on a message board, "Satan just sits back and laughs because the Fundamentalists are doing his job for him!"

The webmaster of this site escaped with his sanity from the pastor of the Yates couple. What the hell is wrong with people?

Edit, because I do not want to do another post: I did not watch the ABC Primetime show with tapes of Mrs. Yates being played. I knew that I would not have been able to handle it.

If you're as angry with Christian Fundamentalism as I am, go here.

Televangelism: Tricks of the Trade

Still not willing to take televangelists with at least a grain of salt? Watch these videos...

Excerpt from "Nova"

Excerpts from Marjoe

For dessert to cool your off, here are a couple of clips for a taste of the bizzare and perhaps a couple of infantile giggles:

Robot Tilton's Poodles

Have your Beano handy.

Benny Hinn, or Benny Hill?

Happy 4th!

I want to wish all my fellow Americans out there a happy and safe Independence Day, whatever you do today.

For the occasion, here is a silly little test from Blogthings.com:

How "Average American" Are You?

You Are 70% "Average American"

You are average because you don't have a college degree. You are not average since you would pay to go in space.

How "Average American" Are You?

I'm still an undergraduate at this point. I only have two more semeters to go!

Very Pretty Flash On NewGrounds

Click Here.

This was done for a religion class by three students. It has a strong spiritual message in it without any direct reference to any particular religion.

Memorial Day

I hope everyone in the United States is having a wonderful and meaningful Memorial Day, whatever your beliefs.

Whether or not you agree with the war, please take a moment to encourage the men and women who are in the military.

This is for the United States military:
Operation Dear Abby

For those of you outside the United States, here are some websites where you can send a message to your troops as well. I know that you do not celebrate Memorial Day, but since blogs and be read from all over the world, I do not think it would not be fair to only post links to send messages for your armed forces. Here are the sites that I could find:

For Canada:
Write to the Troops

For the UK:
Support Our Soldiers

For Germany:
Soldiers' Angels Germany: Send Messages to Ill and Injured Soliders

Institute For Psychological Heath

I heard an advertisement for this on the radio last night, and I decided to check it out. They are an organization that tries to help the community and professionals work together to create an environment where mental health can thrive.

Institute For Psychological Heath

Gospel of Judas

I just watched a little bit of the National Geographic special, "The Gospel of Judas."

I thought it was interesting. The document that they found was found to be an authentic document in that it was dated between 220-340 AD. The document they found was a copy, probably to preserve the gospel in case the original was destroyed.

Basically, the Gospel of Judas says that Judas was commanded by Jesus to betray him; at least that is what is conveyed in the documentary. Even if the account of Judas is true, Christians need not worry. Jesus still died and was resurrected according to the other gospels.

My sister put forth the idea that the fact that Jesus' crucifixion was not mentioned in the Gospel of Judas can possibly mean that Judas did not see the crucifixon because he was running for his life. Judas was probably worried, as he saw in a vision that he was being stoned by the other apostles.

As for Judas hanging himself, it is said in Acts 1:18 that Judas fell and his body burst, his insides (it says "bowels" in the KJV) fell out.

Even with the possibility that it is not true, it is still interesting to consider things that are different from what we are used to. Being that the Gospel of Judas has Gnostic elements that are highlighted by the documentary, I take it with a grain of salt. Even though I do not agree with a few of the Gnostic teachings, it is still interesting to consider what someone could draw from them, such as considering the body and the world a prison that keeps a person from reaching a higher spiritual level. I don't think many Christians can dispute that idea. We are imprisoned in an imperfect body, and the body is in conflict with the spirit.

All the information on the Gospel of Judas was taken from the documentary and National Geographic's website.

National Geographic Presents the Gospel of Judas

New Link!

LeavingFundamentalism.Org

The "author" of this webpage is still a Christian, but he seems open to those who are exploring other beliefs.

They have a forum, too!

Medication Continued

I finally saw the psychiatrist today. She asked me how I was without the medication, and I told her. She told me that since Zoloft is not addictive, it's most likely not withdrawal--going from 100mg to 0mg (having the outide help and suddenly not having it) was a shock.

She has put me on 100mg of Zoloft for the next six months. After this period of time, she will talk to me about possibly taking me down to 75mg.

Meds--Long Post

I saw the therapist today, and I was reminded that I still have a stigma attached to taking medication. It was my therapist who made me realize this.

I have been off my Zoloft (100 mg) for a couple of weeks because I did not make a refill appointment with my psychiatrist soon enough, and I ran out of refills. The past two weeks have made me realize that I still probably need 100mg of Zoloft just as much as I needed it this past summer. The psychiatrist may have other ideas, though, and that’s fine.

For the past couple of weeks while not on the medication, I have been increasingly paranoid, timid, irritable, assuming the worst of people’s intentions, seeing other human beings as being inferior, having violent thoughts, having exaggerated aggressive feelings, being disgusted with the bodily functions of others (besides the obvious that come to mind), blaming those who I have lent support for my lack of mental/emotional energy, and being frustrated with other people. Basically, I feel like was I was back in high school.

Now, I know not having my medication is no excuse for these behaviors. Some of you reading this may have caught fallout from this, and I am sorry if you are one of those people. The main point of this entry is that I am upset by the thought that I actually need medication to act like a decent human being. I know these symptoms are probably from withdrawal, but I am still disappointed that I am not strong enough on my own to make myself be decent. I tried to be decent and not have horrible thoughts, but I gave up trying. It was too hard. I know there really is not any excuse for this, but too much has been going on, and without my medication, I am having trouble caring at all.

It’s hard for me to just chalk it up to being chemically imbalanced because I feel like I am excusing my behavior. It’s also very hard for me to not throw blame at God, even if for just a moment before further reflection. I wonder why I was born this way, I wonder why God “made me” this way, and I become angry. It’s not fair to do that, though. What helps is to remember that (at least in my opinion) all the crap that is out there is a result of the fall, and all of Adam’s descendents are unfortunate recipients of a biological set of cards that will serve them for better or worse. It’s not God’s fault, and I had to remind myself of this.

I guess I don’t want to think that I am still a sinful being. I want to believe that I am past that when I am really not. I guess you can say it is something that could be a humbling experience if received, but damn, it’s hard.

My therapist told me something that really helped. Paraphrased, she told me that a person’s nervous system is no different from the heart, and since needing a pacemaker does not make someone a bad person, needing medication to keep the nervous system (which includes the brain) in balance does not make someone a bad person either. I just hate the thought of weakness in myself.

Also, when I am on the medication, I appreciate it because it helps. However, I did not allow myself to recognise my own stigmas against taking medication, and a part of me is still ashamed of it.

Edited at 6:57 PM on 2/25/06

Beware the Scribes.Net

An aquaintence's webpage, Beware the Scribes.Net, has been revamped. Take a look!

Homepage
Forum

Beware the Scribes is a place where everyone is welcome to discuss Fundamentalism, politics, spirituality, philosophy, religion, or anything else you think is of merit for posting. You can submit articles after you have signed up on the homepage. Signing up on the forums is encouraged, especially if you have registered on the main page.

Be courteous, and we will be courteous.

A Scrupulosity Blog!

SCRUPULOSITY

I'm glad to see others who are open with this.

LSH

Well, I have decided to take a hiatus from LastStopHell yet again. This time, it is official. I'm getting out of there for good.

LastStopHell is an imflammatory Hellfire Fundamentalist website. Don't even go there if you are sensitive or easily triggered, or have an obsessive (and perhaps compulsive) mindset. I used to go there as a follower of Hellfire Fundamentalism, but a year later, I can't stand to see the garbage that goes on. I have been going there to counter the Fundamentalists there, but to no avail. Nothing many people say can steer the Fundamentalists from their thinking.

The moderaters regularly delete and edit posts that contain remarks which with they do not agree (even with remarks from people with a different brand of Christianity than their own), and they have recently lied and slandered a non-Christian moderator and stripped him of his power. It's basically a virtual Fundamentalist church.

It's a Christian site, and yes, they technically have the right to run their website however they wish, but it turns more people away from Christianity. If there is a Satanic website, it's this place.

I'm not posting the URL. Having this problem myself, I know others may be tempted to go look after being warned of its offensive material.

Book of Daniel

I have heard that many people in the "Christian" community have gotten up in arms about this show. Some NBC affiliates have decided not to air the show because of complains from so-called Christians. Here is the official website.

Emmy nominee Aidan Quinn (“An Early Frost,” “Plainsong,” “Legends of the Fall”) stars as Reverend Daniel Webster, an unconventional Episcopalian minister who not only believes in Jesus - he actually sees him and discusses life with him. Webster is challenged on many levels as he struggles to be a good husband, father and minister, while trying to control a nagging addiction to prescription painkillers, and an often rocky relationship with the church hierarchy, led by Bishop Beatrice Congreve (Oscar winner Ellen Burstyn, “Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore,” “Requiem of a Dream”), Roger Paxton, a senior warden of the parish and stalwart churchgoer (Dylan Baker, “Kinsey,” “Happiness”).

The reverend also has loving, but challenging relationships with his three children: Peter (Christian Campbell, “Trick”), his 23-year-old gay son, who struggles with the loss of his twin brother; Grace (Alison Pill, “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen”), his 16-year-old daughter who doesn't try to push her father's buttons but succeeds at it nonetheless; and Adam (Ivan Shaw, “All My Children”), his 16-year-old adopted Chinese son, a handsome and cocky high school jock with a wicked sense of humor. Keeping Webster grounded is his strong and loving wife Judith (Susanna Thompson, “Now and Again”), who is fighting her own fondness for mid-day martinis, as well as Jesus (Garret Dillahunt, “Deadwood”), whose frequent chats with Daniel serve to remind him of his strengths and weaknesses.

Appearantly, the fact that the minister has a gay son and the slew of other problems being dealt with my the minister bothers the happy-go-lucky reality of mainstream Christians.

The fact is that in this story, the guy actually has a relationship with Jesus. This pretty much confirms that the minister is still His and still part of the "church," as Jesus would say. The minister is also dealing with real-life issues--something, appearantly, True Christians (TM) are not supposed to be bothered with.

I was listening to the Glenn Beck Program this morning, and a fill-in was hosting the show. The host made a good point about how arrogant some Christians are to think that an NBC affiliate should not show a program so that no one sees it. I find this unfair, because from what I have heard from the previews, it shows a more realistic side to "Christian life" as it were, as opposed to the pat TBN storylines in which the son turns straight, the minister gets back in line with his institution, and everything is resolved a two-hour movie.

I think the problem is that the faith of some is so fickle that they can not handle anything that challenges their simplistic world view. As powerful and outspoken as these Fundamentalists may be, their faith shatters at the touch of reality. Allowing challenging things in the public eye weakens their cause even more--hence the reason simply "tuning out" is not enough for Fundamentalists.