Update

I started this blog two years ago. Since then, my OCD was partially alleviated. I’m not completely cured as I still have to take medications and use mental tools to control the obsessions and compulsions, but I am much better. I don’t have overt compulsions as they usually involve some sort of prayer. My obsessions were and still are to an extent related to the fear of losing my salvation, but I am not wrought with the fear I had two years ago. It only spikes during stressful times and/or when I have little social support.

I still call myself a Christian as I still have the core beliefs (Jesus is the son of God and shed His blood for the sins of the world). I sometimes have trouble saying that I am a Christian because people tend to pidgeonhole me into the same category as Christians one sees in mainstream society. I don’t believe that unbelievers go to eternal hellfire, though. I have been studying the idea that everyone will eventually be saved after being purified/corrected (so no one really gets away with anything, and the process of correction isn’t a picnic to say the least). However, I still see the cessation of existence for the unsaved to be the most logical outcome for now; still, universal reconciliation is still inviting.

You may have seen some references to esoteric, “New Agey” and Eastern spirituality stuff on this blog, and I understand if this confuses some people. When I was referring to these things, I was taking a class called “Consciousness and Spirituality” at University. As I studied the material, the perspectives I learned helped me to personally understand passages in the Bible better. Since I was learning about spiritual matters outside the context of fear and threat of punishment, they were easier to mentally digest. Since taking that class, I think I have a better personal understanding of some of the passages from the Bible and from what [I hope] God tells me. As for the stuff about self-remembrance, I think self-examination is fine for seeing what needs to be changed. If you have ever tried it, it’s not a blissful experience. Sometimes it’s boring, and at other times, it can be frightening—at least that is how I experienced it.

In other news, I watched a special on CNN last night called “God’s Warriors.” They featured a pastor named Greg Boyd. From the interview, he seemed like an interested pastor. He does not believe in forcing the beliefs of Christianity on the rest of the nation. Here is his website. I have not read everything on that site, so be careful to make your own decision about what he says. I know from experience that it is easier to simply listen to someone else as opposed to actually thinking about it. I’ve gotten into trouble for doing the former.

I hope everyone has a blessed holiday season and a happy new year.