On Emptiness

I may have frightened some of you off when I mentioned the emptiness I found upon remembering myself for the first time. That emptiness was me, myself, my own being. I am empty. However, I believe the Holy Spirit resides there because I sense him. This is after making the differentiation between myself and the Godhead with and/or in myself.

I think that the Holy Spirit could come through even if people were not empty at the core of their being. From what I read in the Bible, the body is like a conduit through which the Holy Spirit flows.

Also, about being a machine--John Godolphin Bennet, author of Making a Soul, says that there is a difference between doing and choice. We do not do--everything in us happens whether we like it or not. Choice is different, because it means possibilities. You can choose to remember yourself (being acutely aware of yourself being present to yourself (as my professor, Dr. Quentin Dinardo, would say)--that you're you, you're in the here and now). This paradox is much like the paradox one finds upon reading the Bible concerning free will--you have a choice, but you're still a slave to sin. I think that what Bennet and Ouspensky (author of The Psychology of Man's Possible Evolution) are talking about is at least almost exactly like the paradox found in the Bible. I do not want to make any absolute statements here, since translations of the Bible may be full of errors and I do not know everything.

When you remember yourself, you have more possibilities because you are in a higher state of consciousness. I have been there. Since I am in sleep again, it is difficult to explain it. It's difficult anyway since spiritual things can not be fully tied down in words.

The experience was as if a photograph with a bright lightbulb was being taken. I sensed everything, and everything seemed so clear. Bennet, Ouspensky, and others assert that when we have accidental moments of self-consciousness (self-remembering), we create memories.

I do not necessarily agree with everything Bennet and Ouspensky say. I still believe that Jesus was the Son of God and died as a sacrifice for my sins, but the material from my Consciousness and Spirituality class gave me a better vocabulary for assimilating and organizing my faith in my heart and mind.

"The entrence to the temple is gaurded by two demons; they are confusion and paradox (Q. Dinardo, personal communication, 2007)." This was originally stated by a Sufi mystic, but I do not remember his name.

(Almost) Achieving Consciousness(?)

Note: I highly suggest that you go out and get The Inner Journey Home by A. H. Almas and read it for yourself. These understandings are based on my own understandings and those of my professor and classmates. Don't take what I say as gospel.

Today in Consciousness and Spirituality, we talked about chapters three and nine in The Inner Journey Home by A. H. Almas. These chapters were basically about how the soul in addition to being a field of sensitivity, it is a field of consciousness. It is consciousness. It is an organism of consciousness. This consciousness is also presence. Almas uses consciousness and presence interchangeably because that is his findings and the findings of others through personal examination. When a person remembers himself, he is conscious of being conscious, as the soul is at its basic level. Almas says that all thinking, doing, feeling, and other cognitions or actions are separate from this basic ground of the soul. In order to get to a point of self-remembrance (which is the higher state of consciousness that is just above what we usually experience), we must release all these other things and get to the ground, the consciousness, and presence of the soul.

For our exercise, we meditated. The aim of this meditation is to remember yourself, or as Dr. Dinardo put it, "Being acutely aware of yourself being present to yourself." So, with the information that I read and learned, I sought to get to the ground of my soul. I first thought to myself that I was going to experience the soul, that is, the pure consciousness, presence, and "beingness." A few times I had a sense that I was getting very close to something, and each I experienced things in my body. I gasped for air, breathed deeper, my chest felt as if it were clenching (nothing painful, but I was aware of it). It was like coming up for air. I didn't get all the way "there," wherever "there" was in this case. It could have been the higher state of consciousness, but I won't know it for sure until I get there.

It was like the story of a Sufi mystic who, when asked how he achieved enlightenment, said that he learned from watching a dog. He said that the dog kept creeping up to a pool of water in the desert, but frightened by his reflection, he jumped away. After a while, he needed the water so much that he finally just plunged in. We don't want really know ourselves. When we get hints of it, we really don't like what we see. This is at least my own interpretation of it.