On Emptiness

I may have frightened some of you off when I mentioned the emptiness I found upon remembering myself for the first time. That emptiness was me, myself, my own being. I am empty. However, I believe the Holy Spirit resides there because I sense him. This is after making the differentiation between myself and the Godhead with and/or in myself.

I think that the Holy Spirit could come through even if people were not empty at the core of their being. From what I read in the Bible, the body is like a conduit through which the Holy Spirit flows.

Also, about being a machine--John Godolphin Bennet, author of Making a Soul, says that there is a difference between doing and choice. We do not do--everything in us happens whether we like it or not. Choice is different, because it means possibilities. You can choose to remember yourself (being acutely aware of yourself being present to yourself (as my professor, Dr. Quentin Dinardo, would say)--that you're you, you're in the here and now). This paradox is much like the paradox one finds upon reading the Bible concerning free will--you have a choice, but you're still a slave to sin. I think that what Bennet and Ouspensky (author of The Psychology of Man's Possible Evolution) are talking about is at least almost exactly like the paradox found in the Bible. I do not want to make any absolute statements here, since translations of the Bible may be full of errors and I do not know everything.

When you remember yourself, you have more possibilities because you are in a higher state of consciousness. I have been there. Since I am in sleep again, it is difficult to explain it. It's difficult anyway since spiritual things can not be fully tied down in words.

The experience was as if a photograph with a bright lightbulb was being taken. I sensed everything, and everything seemed so clear. Bennet, Ouspensky, and others assert that when we have accidental moments of self-consciousness (self-remembering), we create memories.

I do not necessarily agree with everything Bennet and Ouspensky say. I still believe that Jesus was the Son of God and died as a sacrifice for my sins, but the material from my Consciousness and Spirituality class gave me a better vocabulary for assimilating and organizing my faith in my heart and mind.

"The entrence to the temple is gaurded by two demons; they are confusion and paradox (Q. Dinardo, personal communication, 2007)." This was originally stated by a Sufi mystic, but I do not remember his name.

Much Better Today

I feel much better today. I believe the matter is pretty much settled (for now, in case I have another relapse). I guess it's the whole "peace that surpasses all understanding" thing.

Take care all! Thanks for your support.

Unforgivable Sin

One thing that has been bothering me for awhile now is the issue of the Unforgivable Sin (Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit). I have struggled with this before until someone explained it to me, but a couple of months ago, I read a post by this same someone telling someone else that they committed this sin for claiming that they saved souls.

I have been in a state of terror off and on since then. Even if the rebellious are eventually destroyed, I don't want to go where they're going.

I know I shouldn't base my faith off the idea of punishments and rewards. It's so hard not to do so, especially after being brought up Catholic and being sucked into a Fundie cult later on. The idea of being able to commit a sin that would guarantee that they are permantently doomed.

I'm terrified and sick. I don't know what to do. I don't even want to even think about the Holy Spirit for fear that I may screw up somehow.

Texas Lawmaker Wants to Ban Homosexuals from Fostering

It appears that a Texas Republican lawmaker wants to keep Homosexuals from fostering children. It's pure idiocy in my book. I guess in this bozo's eyes no loving, supportive parents (or worse, being put with Fundies) is better than being put with a homosexual couple.

Of course, this lawmaker does not wish to be named. This is unfortunate, because then I would urge my readers to send letters to this person.

It's sickening. Truly sickening.

Here is the link to the story.